Tag Archive: feelings


Me and My Monologues

Monologues of life.
I converse.
A scream of silence echoes in infinite corners.

What if, what if not?
Burglar questions rob my heart.
Whilst the world moves constantly,
me and my monologues sit in peace and converse quietly…

A rage inside, sometimes a storm behind,
a heartfelt emotion or endless passionate musings!
How would I, how should I not?
Random talks in between,
me and my monologues sit hand in hand under the dark.

A word of respite or phrases of delight,
a sulking feeling or share the ecstatic night.
Like the flowers dangling on a full moon night.
Me and my monologues sit and listen to each other,
as companions of life!

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Blue!

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Blue is several things.

Blue is ocean, river, stream.

Blue is the carefree splash of water.

Blue is the immense infinite sky.

Blue is above mountains, blue has its source in mountains, blue flows underneath mountains.

Isn’t this how we were introduced to the sceneries as kids?

Blue is the soulmate of white, a validation to each absurd musing.

Blue is peace and soothing.

It is a big heart. It takes in and engulfs everything.

Blue is rain. It is in rainbow.

It takes you deep within.

It helps you to leap.

Blue is the brightest day. It is shelter.

Blue is glory, contentment, warmth, memories and passion.

Blue is freedom and imagination.

Isn’t a gemstone blue in colour?

Moreover, blue understands. It empathizes. It isn’t judgemental. It listens and stays. May be, that’s why, when sad and sick, you are blue.

Blue keeps faith.

Blue is my mother’s favourite sari draped around her.

Blue is so many things. It makes you feel so much!

The Violinist

Let the hummings begin
Let the bow run back and forth
Let the strings of steel dance in trance
For I am the only one of its kind…
Thus is my violin And I let her speak my mind…
Enough said already,
Have had enough wasted words..
Now is the time To become God
Or The destroyer of worlds…

EXISTENCE

I want to tell you the story of my life
But I don’t know what it is all about.
Though I have seen a lot so far
But it’s not enough.
It’s not enough.

Nonetheless you should hear it now.
More or less it’s all the same.
Sooner or later I’ll be gone,
They’ll be gone,
And you’ll be gone.

Loving parents, brothers and sisters,
Childhood love, rains and thunders,
Food, fire, woods and rivers;
I’ve had them all.
I’ve loved them all.

The eternal God whose judgement awaits,
The pious priest who praises the lord,
Fearful heads bowing down;
It’s all a lie.
It’s all a lie.

Mockers mock, jokers joke,
Mourners lament and doctors differ.
Now, who would you be and why is that?
The choice is yours.
The rules are yours.

Who is who and what is what?
Whether to live or to go?
Who to kill and who to spare?
The answers are rare
And they’re found nowhere.

I held my gun at point blank range.
For then I thought I could talk to death.
But then I stumbled upon the truth.
I have died before
Many a times.

Now I was staring into the dark,
The probable end of all the possibilities
Of a life of hope, pleasure and pain
And I began to yell, “Not again,
Not again.”

If at all there are answers to my questions,
It is life where I can find them.
Had death ever had spoken to me,
I would have hated life
Forever and ever…

Why is Love hard to find?

This article is for those men (mostly) and women (only straight cases) who are yet to get laid because they are waiting for the partners of their dreams. To be honest, I am one of this kind and have done some scientific and social studies and have watched the social and personal emotional dynamics of my peers and people around. Thus it is only a speculative report with margin for errors that I don’t see yet.

To demonstrate my point, I am going to define and use 3 terms which are inseparable from this content.

  1. Lust: It is the feeling (or mental projection) of the active reproductive system of your body (including organs and hormones) that (in terms of Psychology) can be termed as the non intelligent (or blunt) desire to express your reproductive instincts.
  2. Love: When Lust is governed by your own intelligence, it is no longer separate from your other personal and social activities. Thus Love (in the context of Romance) is Lust governed by Intelligence. Thus Love no longer conforms to activities where you try to beat the competition to win as much mates as possible. Rather Love tends to make you seek commitment from yourself and your partner.
  3. Sex: It is the physical expression of your reproductive desires (Max being Love and Min being Lust). Consider Sex as consensual in this context minus the paid sex type.

Everyone (boy or girl) once after puberty experiences Lust. Then depending upon the intelligence (personal and educational) they try to understand, classify, restrict or express Lust. Statistically intelligence is not everyone’s cup of tea. Thus most people do not understand and hence cannot effectively control their Lust. Of course people who are blindly religious, have the subconscious advantage of being able to control this feeling without understanding it scientifically. But most of others go on seeking or exploiting opportunities where they can engage in the sexpression(sexual expression) of Lust. The more they engage, the more addicted they get to the natural reward of pleasure. And then they go on and on till they eventually understand the negative consequences any mindless activities. Such people will never understand the value of Love until they face the intense disappointment of Lust or someone else’s Love for them. Why?

Love works on a different dynamics than Lust. In Love, giving is receiving while Lust is blunt in narrow selfish desires. Love, even in selfish mode is much broader. When a person willing to give Love in order to receive Love, finds a potential mate who is drenched in Lust, the fear of being used by Lust comes out and tries to stop the potential relationship. In essence it is a deadly combination that can blow up anytime.

A person (say A) capable of Loving and falling in Love, is no doubt intelligent. An intelligent person respects his/her life in terms of care for existing relationships, ambitions, aspirations, commitment and most importantly Time . That’s why the desire to have sex takes a backseat if he / she has not yet found a mate of choice. However, being surrounded by Lust all around constantly tests his/her patience. If the person gives up and ends up having sex with someone who later turns out to be a pain in the back otherwise, it emotionally hurts pretty bad and the person distances himself or herself from sex even more. Now if this person A encounters another person B who is capable of Love the situation has a sad unfortunate downside.

Person B tries to seek the Love in person A but person A has already shielded his/her Love from being exposed. Thus person A is no more as open as he /she used to be. Thus person B, unless desperate to fall in Love with A, does not see this trauma in person A, and then moves on in a hope to find another person C (who is highly likely to have been traumatized too). If person B is desperate to fall in Love with A, confuses A. Because to A this desperation may seem as coming from Lust. Because A has gone through the trauma of being a victim of Lust, lacks the courage to experiment again and thus rejects B.

Statistically the ideal cases where two people fall in love with each other for the first time in their lives, are extremely rare and is becoming rarer as expression of Lust is getting easier with emerging technology. Even in the ideal cases, if one person dies, the other one is most likely seek the same intensity from the next relationship. That is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

The solution for people looking for Love is the courage to wait till Marriage before having sex. Which means avoiding casual sex. If you are looking for Love (even slightly), you are highly unlikely to be able to separate your expectations away from a casual sex partner. Sex, is not an experiment where there is a desire for Love. As a marriage can be either love or arranged, it is important to consider having an honest friendship (without benefits) till your potential sex partner becomes worth sharing your private parts with.

The Queen of my Dreams

She is the only queen for me

In the entire universe.

Her body is infinite but subtle is her mind.

Subtlety is her disguise and

She is the only one of her kind.

 

She is a quantum woman…

Mother, Sister, Friend, Foe and Lover and much more.

Infinity is her address

But she keeps knocking on every other door.

 

She wears a gown of light and shadow.

But she bares at times…

To feed me…

To help me…

To seduce me…

To kill me…

 

I live for her…

I feel for her…

I do for her…

And I’ll die for her…

 

As long as I have only her in my mind,

Chances are… there’s something new I may find.

When I get blinded by too much of her light,

I tell to myself, ” You fool! Just get rid of your sight”.

 

Her love for me charms me the most, like a mystic’s magic wand.

She wants me to follow her traces To Infinity and Beyond.

My nth Love

When I see her… I feel so calm. I feel the innocence of my own smile that comes to my lips without an effort. I feel like surrendering my thoughts to her with a confidence that she can give them a caress like never before. I feel hungry to read her mind and heart. I get the urge to see the beautifully different side to what she appears to me. I wonder if I ever could have her pacifying aura once in a while for a lifetime. I know the moon has a darkside too. But she’s not just the moon. She makes the moon a moon